It was late; about 9:45 in the evening. The sun had just gone down, and night was finally settling in over Tacoma. I was driving home from the "Puget Sound Bead Festival -slash- Birthday for Krissy & Anna" party. Going up a hill I saw, quite a ways down the road, some flashing lights. My mind paid very little attention; it was still several blocks away, and probably just one of those caution lights at an intersection. As I got closer I realized that it was a car. The flashing lights were its emergency lights. Closer still, and I could see that it was a very large Jeep-like vehicle pulled off to the side of the road. Actually a tire or two were up on the lawn next to the curb.
At this point I just figured somebody in that Jeep was picking somebody else up from the nearby house. I noticed the house was completely dark and thought that strange. Then as I got even closer I noticed that sitting in or standing around the Jeep were three extraordinarily attractive young women, about 18 to 20 years old, wearing skimpy tank tops and halter-tops and tiny shorts and miniskirts.
It was a warm night and I had rolled my windows to air the car out because of an earlier incident behind an especially noxious truck. As I passed the Jeep all three girls turned to watch me, and one of them took a few steps towards the car. I heard through the open windows a faint cry of, "Help!"
My brain paused for a moment to make sure I had actually heard that. Yes, I had. I pulled up a little farther and over to the curb. As I shut off my car there was one thought that came to the forefront of my mind.
This is exactly how porn movies start. Or at least parodies of porn movies. Three gorgeous, appreciative girls, one helpful stud...
As I walked back towards the Jeep where the girls, assuming I had just driven by, were looking away from me down the road again, and called out, "Did somebody yell for help?"
One of the girls whirled around, startled, then upon seeing me rushed forward. "Yes! Thank you so much for stopping!" She threw her arms around my neck and pressed her curvy body appreciatively up against mine. I felt the hands of the other two girls...
Actually, the girls explained that they'd run out of gas. "At least we think so," one of them said. "This isn't our car."
I was about to open my mouth and dispense some sort of advice or offer to help in some way when a rather large pickup slowed to a stop on the other side of the Jeep. The girls reacted excitedly; they recognized it. Yes, it seems that somebody they knew was coming to rescue them. My "services" were no longer needed.
But the girls were nonetheless appreciative. "Thanks so much for stopping," one said. "You're the only person who actually stopped."
"No problem," I said. "As long as you're all right now."
I walked back to my car as the girls waved and called out their thank-yous.
This is Chris dot com
Sunday, July 27, 2003
My "Almost Porn" Story
posted by Christopher at 10:05 PM 
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