On Friday I was stationed at the front door with Brandy. At one point during the long, hot day, she turned to me and said, "Chris, tell me a joke." Now here's the thing. I don't like jokes. I don't really like that style of humor. Setups and punchlines and clever little things. Not my cup o' tea. The only "jokes" that I really like are parodies of traditional jokes. So I told her "jokes" instead of jokes. Both of them got her to laugh, but she was still upset because they were "jokes" and not jokes.
Here's how the first one goes (it really doesn't read well on paper. It's much better experienced live):
(overly, insanely enthusiastic)
"A guy walks into a bar..."
(breakdown into hysterical laughter)
See? That's not a joke. The "joke" is that the guy is so into his own joke that he can't even tell it. It got a laugh. Here's the second one:
A guy walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this!" (wiggle elbow)
The doctor says, "I'm gonna cut you with a pair of scissors!"
See? What the hell is funny about that? Nothing. That's why I like it. You should hear some of our knock-knock jokes. Here's one of my faves:
A: Knock-knock
B: Who's there?
A: I'm about to have a baby!
B: I'm about to have a baby who?
A: John if it's a boy; Jessica if it's a girl. (Pause) It's Jessica.
