For some reason I can't remember, today (instead of doing work I was supposed to do) I read a whole heaping helpload of Hellboy. And you know what? I liked it. It goes up there with the tiny handful of comics that I actually kinda like. The weird thing is, I looked around on the internet to try to find some of the comics online, and the only place I could find any was on the Playboy website. Weird.
I'm looking forward to the movie now. Especially since they released a couple of photos of Ron Perlman as Hellboy (#1), (#2), and that Guillermo del Toro is directing. Not 'til March, though!
This is Chris dot com
Thursday, July 31, 2003
He's One Hell of a Boy
posted by Christopher at 11:09 PM 
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Hulk Smash!
I put up my movie review of Ang Lee's Hulk. Now I just have to write my Full Throttle review and I'll be all caught up.
Someone pointed out to me recently that almost all of my Movie Reviews are positive. It's rare that I give a film less than three stars. Well, it's not because I'm particularly generous (although sometimes I am). It's just that I tend to only see films that I'm reasonably confident I'll like—and I'm usually right.
I actually ended up spending most of last night doing more work for The Bead Factory. It makes me better money, but doesn't help me catch up with my tapes.
Someone pointed out to me recently that almost all of my Movie Reviews are positive. It's rare that I give a film less than three stars. Well, it's not because I'm particularly generous (although sometimes I am). It's just that I tend to only see films that I'm reasonably confident I'll like—and I'm usually right.
I actually ended up spending most of last night doing more work for The Bead Factory. It makes me better money, but doesn't help me catch up with my tapes.
posted by Christopher at 10:27 AM
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Wednesday, July 30, 2003
Back to work! *whip*
I just got back from seeing Charlie's Angels Full Throttle. Let me tell you with Brandy & Carrie. The throttle is full. It ain't like halfway or anything. I'll have a Review up soon. I just have to write my Hulk review first.
Hey, I forgot to mention this earlier, but Brandy was officially hired on at The Bead Factory!! Terribly exciting; she's now officially part of "The Babe Factory" (although I've always thought she was a babe anyway. Actually more of a dame or a skirt).
Now I have to get back to transcribing since I have a working Dictaphone machine now. I have a lot of catching up to do. Late night ahoy!
Hey, I forgot to mention this earlier, but Brandy was officially hired on at The Bead Factory!! Terribly exciting; she's now officially part of "The Babe Factory" (although I've always thought she was a babe anyway. Actually more of a dame or a skirt).
Now I have to get back to transcribing since I have a working Dictaphone machine now. I have a lot of catching up to do. Late night ahoy!
posted by Christopher at 10:11 PM
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Site Update
I've written another new Movie Review. So now I'm only a couple of films behind, but I'll probably see at least three films this weeks, so watch out. I'll try my damnedest to keep up.
Now that I have a scanner again I can get back into the swing of writing articles. I'm really out of practice right now, so the idea seems kind of foreign. It's been like a month and a half.
In other site news, I'm thinking of getting rid of the Projects section. I never really do anything with it, and it's not too terribly interesting. I'm not sure, though. I haven't decided yet.
Now that I have a scanner again I can get back into the swing of writing articles. I'm really out of practice right now, so the idea seems kind of foreign. It's been like a month and a half.
In other site news, I'm thinking of getting rid of the Projects section. I never really do anything with it, and it's not too terribly interesting. I'm not sure, though. I haven't decided yet.
posted by Christopher at 1:42 PM
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Tuesday, July 29, 2003
Catastrophic Failure, Part Duex
As a follow-up to the below post (read it first, damn you!), when I packed up the broken Dictaphone machine and sent it back to Hometech, I packed up the whole thing—the machine, the foot pedal, and the power chord. When I picked up the box with the new machine in it today and brought it home, inside was the machine, the foot pedal, and...
No and.
There's no way for me to plug the freakin' thing in.
I lose an ENTIRE day of work now. Oh, well, I can really crank out some good Bead Factory stuff, which pays much, much more. But it looks like whereas this month was excellent for moolah, next month I might be hurting quite a bit. We'll see. Jeez...
On the bright side, I had enough money to buy a new scanner. Actually I bought one of those all-in-one dealies, that can print, scan, copy, and fax all by its lonesome. It's really cool. It's a Lexmark X-1150. Right now it's printing out a photo on glossy paper at 4800 dpi. It's taking it about a half hour, but it's still looking soooo good!. I also picked up Carrie's resized ring, so now she can proudly wear it around as proof of what a specatularly awesome fiance she has.
Tee-hee!
No and.
There's no way for me to plug the freakin' thing in.
I lose an ENTIRE day of work now. Oh, well, I can really crank out some good Bead Factory stuff, which pays much, much more. But it looks like whereas this month was excellent for moolah, next month I might be hurting quite a bit. We'll see. Jeez...
On the bright side, I had enough money to buy a new scanner. Actually I bought one of those all-in-one dealies, that can print, scan, copy, and fax all by its lonesome. It's really cool. It's a Lexmark X-1150. Right now it's printing out a photo on glossy paper at 4800 dpi. It's taking it about a half hour, but it's still looking soooo good!. I also picked up Carrie's resized ring, so now she can proudly wear it around as proof of what a specatularly awesome fiance she has.
Tee-hee!
posted by Christopher at 3:28 PM
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Catastrophic Failure
Last night as I was typing away on my tapes, my Dictaphone machine suddenly made a strange noise, and now it works no longer. Which really sucks, because I won't be able to get a new one until after 2:00 this afternoon, so I'll lose almost a full day's working time.
Oh, well, I can use that time to work on things that I've neglected. Like, for instance, I've written a brand new Movie Review! For a movie I saw like three months ago but only now am getting around to reviewing! Oh, well, enjoy it anyway.
Oh, well, I can use that time to work on things that I've neglected. Like, for instance, I've written a brand new Movie Review! For a movie I saw like three months ago but only now am getting around to reviewing! Oh, well, enjoy it anyway.
posted by Christopher at 9:01 AM
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Sunday, July 27, 2003
My "Almost Porn" Story
It was late; about 9:45 in the evening. The sun had just gone down, and night was finally settling in over Tacoma. I was driving home from the "Puget Sound Bead Festival -slash- Birthday for Krissy & Anna" party. Going up a hill I saw, quite a ways down the road, some flashing lights. My mind paid very little attention; it was still several blocks away, and probably just one of those caution lights at an intersection. As I got closer I realized that it was a car. The flashing lights were its emergency lights. Closer still, and I could see that it was a very large Jeep-like vehicle pulled off to the side of the road. Actually a tire or two were up on the lawn next to the curb.
At this point I just figured somebody in that Jeep was picking somebody else up from the nearby house. I noticed the house was completely dark and thought that strange. Then as I got even closer I noticed that sitting in or standing around the Jeep were three extraordinarily attractive young women, about 18 to 20 years old, wearing skimpy tank tops and halter-tops and tiny shorts and miniskirts.
It was a warm night and I had rolled my windows to air the car out because of an earlier incident behind an especially noxious truck. As I passed the Jeep all three girls turned to watch me, and one of them took a few steps towards the car. I heard through the open windows a faint cry of, "Help!"
My brain paused for a moment to make sure I had actually heard that. Yes, I had. I pulled up a little farther and over to the curb. As I shut off my car there was one thought that came to the forefront of my mind.
This is exactly how porn movies start. Or at least parodies of porn movies. Three gorgeous, appreciative girls, one helpful stud...
As I walked back towards the Jeep where the girls, assuming I had just driven by, were looking away from me down the road again, and called out, "Did somebody yell for help?"
One of the girls whirled around, startled, then upon seeing me rushed forward. "Yes! Thank you so much for stopping!" She threw her arms around my neck and pressed her curvy body appreciatively up against mine. I felt the hands of the other two girls...
Actually, the girls explained that they'd run out of gas. "At least we think so," one of them said. "This isn't our car."
I was about to open my mouth and dispense some sort of advice or offer to help in some way when a rather large pickup slowed to a stop on the other side of the Jeep. The girls reacted excitedly; they recognized it. Yes, it seems that somebody they knew was coming to rescue them. My "services" were no longer needed.
But the girls were nonetheless appreciative. "Thanks so much for stopping," one said. "You're the only person who actually stopped."
"No problem," I said. "As long as you're all right now."
I walked back to my car as the girls waved and called out their thank-yous.
At this point I just figured somebody in that Jeep was picking somebody else up from the nearby house. I noticed the house was completely dark and thought that strange. Then as I got even closer I noticed that sitting in or standing around the Jeep were three extraordinarily attractive young women, about 18 to 20 years old, wearing skimpy tank tops and halter-tops and tiny shorts and miniskirts.
It was a warm night and I had rolled my windows to air the car out because of an earlier incident behind an especially noxious truck. As I passed the Jeep all three girls turned to watch me, and one of them took a few steps towards the car. I heard through the open windows a faint cry of, "Help!"
My brain paused for a moment to make sure I had actually heard that. Yes, I had. I pulled up a little farther and over to the curb. As I shut off my car there was one thought that came to the forefront of my mind.
This is exactly how porn movies start. Or at least parodies of porn movies. Three gorgeous, appreciative girls, one helpful stud...
As I walked back towards the Jeep where the girls, assuming I had just driven by, were looking away from me down the road again, and called out, "Did somebody yell for help?"
One of the girls whirled around, startled, then upon seeing me rushed forward. "Yes! Thank you so much for stopping!" She threw her arms around my neck and pressed her curvy body appreciatively up against mine. I felt the hands of the other two girls...
Actually, the girls explained that they'd run out of gas. "At least we think so," one of them said. "This isn't our car."
I was about to open my mouth and dispense some sort of advice or offer to help in some way when a rather large pickup slowed to a stop on the other side of the Jeep. The girls reacted excitedly; they recognized it. Yes, it seems that somebody they knew was coming to rescue them. My "services" were no longer needed.
But the girls were nonetheless appreciative. "Thanks so much for stopping," one said. "You're the only person who actually stopped."
"No problem," I said. "As long as you're all right now."
I walked back to my car as the girls waved and called out their thank-yous.
posted by Christopher at 10:05 PM
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Saturday, July 26, 2003
So Much for That
I was gonna have a brand new Movie Review up here today, the first one written in my newly-redesigned Movie Reviews section. Carrie, Brandy, and I were going to go see a movie, but when we got to the theater it seems that the film wasn't playing when Brandy said it would be. Seems she forgot to check the movie times that day and was just going from information from the previous day.
I'm kind of kicking myself because earlier in the day I was poking around moviefone.com and I even thought to myself, I should check to see when the movie's playing. But then I thought, Naw, Brandy knows when it's playing...
I'm kind of kicking myself because earlier in the day I was poking around moviefone.com and I even thought to myself, I should check to see when the movie's playing. But then I thought, Naw, Brandy knows when it's playing...
posted by Christopher at 12:42 PM
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Friday, July 25, 2003
Soon...
I just got a big web design paycheck. Tomorrow we do bills, and with whatever's leftover, I'll buy these.
Or maybe this... or this...
Money, mon-mon-money... MONey!
Or maybe this... or this...
Money, mon-mon-money... MONey!
posted by Christopher at 7:22 PM
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You Look Like an Artist
Another PSBF story:
Since my job basically consisted of standing by a doorway (sometimes accompanied by a beautiful woman or two), several thousand people walked past me during the course of three days. After a while I began to be able to recognize the vendors who would routinely go in and out.
At one point when it was slow I was able to sit down in a chair, and a vendor approached.
"Are you an artist?" she asked me out of the blue.
So surprised that I completely forgot that, yes, I draw and paint and act and write, etc., I simply said, "Well, I do web stuff."
"That's a kind of art," the vendor offered.
"Kind of," I agreed. "Why?"
"Oh, you look like an artist," she said.
I yanked at my ponytail. "It's the hair, isn't it?"
"No," she said after a slight pause. "Something in the eyes or your face. You just look like an artist."
"Oh, okay," I replied with my usual brilliance.
Who was I to argue? These vendors spend their lives selling thier wares to that artists can create jewelry art and whatnot. Who's to say that this particular vendor wasn't able by now to recognize a certain "something" in people who were artists versus those who were not?
At any rate, I'm pretty sure she wasn't hitting on me. Actually only two old women winked at me all weekend, which is down a couple from last year.
Since my job basically consisted of standing by a doorway (sometimes accompanied by a beautiful woman or two), several thousand people walked past me during the course of three days. After a while I began to be able to recognize the vendors who would routinely go in and out.
At one point when it was slow I was able to sit down in a chair, and a vendor approached.
"Are you an artist?" she asked me out of the blue.
So surprised that I completely forgot that, yes, I draw and paint and act and write, etc., I simply said, "Well, I do web stuff."
"That's a kind of art," the vendor offered.
"Kind of," I agreed. "Why?"
"Oh, you look like an artist," she said.
I yanked at my ponytail. "It's the hair, isn't it?"
"No," she said after a slight pause. "Something in the eyes or your face. You just look like an artist."
"Oh, okay," I replied with my usual brilliance.
Who was I to argue? These vendors spend their lives selling thier wares to that artists can create jewelry art and whatnot. Who's to say that this particular vendor wasn't able by now to recognize a certain "something" in people who were artists versus those who were not?
At any rate, I'm pretty sure she wasn't hitting on me. Actually only two old women winked at me all weekend, which is down a couple from last year.
posted by Christopher at 4:43 PM
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What am I doing?
For some reason last night I was caught by some sort of a fit wherein I was forced by some force beyond my control to completey redo my Movie Reviews section. And it was like ten minutes before I was going to go to bed! I actually had to force myself to go to bed, and now I've been up working on it like all day instead of working on stuff that I'll actually get paid to work on.
Oh, well. I like it a lot better now. it's much lighter and more comfortable to read, and it's in a slate of fall colors, which is an unusual pallette for me. Check it out.
In other news, I'll probably have like half a dozen new reviews to put in that section tomorrow.
Oh, well. I like it a lot better now. it's much lighter and more comfortable to read, and it's in a slate of fall colors, which is an unusual pallette for me. Check it out.
In other news, I'll probably have like half a dozen new reviews to put in that section tomorrow.
posted by Christopher at 3:04 PM
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Thursday, July 24, 2003
Frickin' Keys!
Hey, last night when we went to Devon's for Iron Chef style dinner, I put my keyes and my Dirty Heel sunglasses in Carrie's purse so I wouldn't forget them there. 'Cause, you know, I didn't want to be without my keys and sunglasses.
So guess what I forgot to take out of Carrie's purse this morning before she went to work?
So guess what I forgot to take out of Carrie's purse this morning before she went to work?
posted by Christopher at 8:01 PM
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Wednesday, July 23, 2003
More Dinner Adventures
Okay, I gotta write this one down. Last night Brandy called out of the blue to ask us if we wanted to go out and eat somewhere. We all three went to Rock Pasta (sometimes just called The Rock) in downtown Tacoma. It was nice, although this heat wave continues and Carrie and I erroneously thought that Rock Pasta would be air conditioned. Whoops! The waiter there had kind of trouble communicating. I started out by ordering a pizza large enough so that we would have plenty to take home, and when he asked me, "Will that be all?" I said, "Yes," because I thought he was just asking me. But he was asking if that would be all for the entire table, like one single pizza could possibly be enough to feet all three of us. Strange stuff like that.
Before that, though, Carrie had gone to Seattle (again) with Rochelle, and had bought one of those fans that sits in a windowsill. It was great, and really cooled the bedroom down. We need to get another one for the living room.
Today Carrie slept the entire day. I'm not kidding. By the time 6:00 p.m. rolled around she had been awake probably three hours—and that's not consecutive!
Just a few hours ago we went over to Devon's for dinner. Let me tell you, eating at Devon's place is like being a guest judge on Iron Chef. He makes the coolest stuff. Today it was ginger prawns, coleslaw, and a dish that consisted of some sort of flavored mashed potato cooked within a cabbage shell. I forget what it's called. The coleslaw was Rochelle's recipe, and she left for the airport later that night.
But the best part of the night was what happened on the way to Devon's. See, Devon only lives like three blocks over and three blocks down from us, but he lives in the bad direction of town. Literally like two blocks from my apartment is the bad part of Tacoma. So we drove over the three blocks and turned to drive straight down to his apartment, and lo and behold in the middle of the block was a huge gathering of young (16-24) people. It took Carrie and me a moment to figure out exactly what was going on.
It was a fight.
To be more specific, it was a catfight.
Two girls were incompetently sissy-fighting it out while a horde of about 30 people cheered them on. As we drove towards them we figured they woudl see us coming and kind of make space for use to go by, which is just good mob etiquette. So we got up close to the crowd and stopped so they could clear a path. Well, only one of the fighting girls saw us coming; the other one had her back to us. So the first one maneuvered the second girl in a way so that she was right up in front of our front bumper, and then actually pushed her over so that she fell on our hood. A couple of guys sitting in a car next to us honked and excitedly gave me a thumbs up. It was really pretty funny.
Anyway, shortly thereafter I just backed all the way back up the block, around the corner (Kids! Don't believe people who tell you that the "backing around a corner" test you'll take in driver's ed is worthless!), and then took a slight detour by going down the next street over. Ah, Tacoma. The town that brought you the sniper weapon, the police chief who shot himself and his wife to death, and the man who used a cardboard gun to escape from custody. T-Town, baby!
Before that, though, Carrie had gone to Seattle (again) with Rochelle, and had bought one of those fans that sits in a windowsill. It was great, and really cooled the bedroom down. We need to get another one for the living room.
Today Carrie slept the entire day. I'm not kidding. By the time 6:00 p.m. rolled around she had been awake probably three hours—and that's not consecutive!
Just a few hours ago we went over to Devon's for dinner. Let me tell you, eating at Devon's place is like being a guest judge on Iron Chef. He makes the coolest stuff. Today it was ginger prawns, coleslaw, and a dish that consisted of some sort of flavored mashed potato cooked within a cabbage shell. I forget what it's called. The coleslaw was Rochelle's recipe, and she left for the airport later that night.
But the best part of the night was what happened on the way to Devon's. See, Devon only lives like three blocks over and three blocks down from us, but he lives in the bad direction of town. Literally like two blocks from my apartment is the bad part of Tacoma. So we drove over the three blocks and turned to drive straight down to his apartment, and lo and behold in the middle of the block was a huge gathering of young (16-24) people. It took Carrie and me a moment to figure out exactly what was going on.
It was a fight.
To be more specific, it was a catfight.
Two girls were incompetently sissy-fighting it out while a horde of about 30 people cheered them on. As we drove towards them we figured they woudl see us coming and kind of make space for use to go by, which is just good mob etiquette. So we got up close to the crowd and stopped so they could clear a path. Well, only one of the fighting girls saw us coming; the other one had her back to us. So the first one maneuvered the second girl in a way so that she was right up in front of our front bumper, and then actually pushed her over so that she fell on our hood. A couple of guys sitting in a car next to us honked and excitedly gave me a thumbs up. It was really pretty funny.
Anyway, shortly thereafter I just backed all the way back up the block, around the corner (Kids! Don't believe people who tell you that the "backing around a corner" test you'll take in driver's ed is worthless!), and then took a slight detour by going down the next street over. Ah, Tacoma. The town that brought you the sniper weapon, the police chief who shot himself and his wife to death, and the man who used a cardboard gun to escape from custody. T-Town, baby!
posted by Christopher at 10:28 PM
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Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Rendezvous with Rama
Eating while working the PSBF was a little bit tricky. On Friday I actually went home for lunch, which consisted of me jamming some slices of salami in my mouth, grabbing a stack of business cards and high-tailing it back to the convention center (I needed the cards for Viki's Business of Jewelry class). The second day I just bought a hoagie at the little concession stand that was always about ten feet to the right of where I stood for hours on end, and on Sunday I bought a hot dog there.
Dinner was trickier because Carrie and I got off at different times. I only worked a measly ten hours a day, while Carrie worked upwards of 16-17. I would get off early and then walk outside the convention center, into the hotel, down the first flight of stairs to the landing where the classes were held, and hang out with Carrie at her evening post there, presiding over the classes until well after 9:00 p.m. (keep in mind she got up at 5:00 that morning).
On Friday we wanted to go to a Thai place just up the street, but that was a bust basically because it closed down early and Carrie was very cranky because of lack of food. So the next night after I got off I went back down to the hotel landing again and this time we played it safe. I walked the block-and-a-half to the restaurant and ordered food to go. By strange and spooky coincidence Neightbor Gary, Natalie, Jess, and a few other vendor people were there at a table. Gary and I talked about which Japanese horror movies we want to see next. Anyway, Carrie got Red Curry w/beef. I got the ol' reliable Pad Thai with pork. I also got something called Swimming Rama, which as far as I can tell is just about the same as Swimming Angel. That was the best. It was all chickeny in soupy, sweet peanut sauce.
I also got some spring rolls (although they were fried, which I wasn't expecting; but then again I didn't even read their description on the menu so it's my bad) so that Lisa could slip out of the class she was teaching and grab quick bites to eat.
But the best was that Swimming Rama. By freakin' far.
Dinner was trickier because Carrie and I got off at different times. I only worked a measly ten hours a day, while Carrie worked upwards of 16-17. I would get off early and then walk outside the convention center, into the hotel, down the first flight of stairs to the landing where the classes were held, and hang out with Carrie at her evening post there, presiding over the classes until well after 9:00 p.m. (keep in mind she got up at 5:00 that morning).
On Friday we wanted to go to a Thai place just up the street, but that was a bust basically because it closed down early and Carrie was very cranky because of lack of food. So the next night after I got off I went back down to the hotel landing again and this time we played it safe. I walked the block-and-a-half to the restaurant and ordered food to go. By strange and spooky coincidence Neightbor Gary, Natalie, Jess, and a few other vendor people were there at a table. Gary and I talked about which Japanese horror movies we want to see next. Anyway, Carrie got Red Curry w/beef. I got the ol' reliable Pad Thai with pork. I also got something called Swimming Rama, which as far as I can tell is just about the same as Swimming Angel. That was the best. It was all chickeny in soupy, sweet peanut sauce.
I also got some spring rolls (although they were fried, which I wasn't expecting; but then again I didn't even read their description on the menu so it's my bad) so that Lisa could slip out of the class she was teaching and grab quick bites to eat.
But the best was that Swimming Rama. By freakin' far.
posted by Christopher at 2:59 PM
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Uncle Caveman
I miss Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey.
posted by Christopher at 12:35 PM
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Old Navy Boxers
Yesterday Carrie and Natalie went shopping up in Seattle. I stayed home all day in my underwear. Old Navy boxers. Red plaid. It was that freakin' hot.
I don't like hot weather. I do so much better in the cold, although I prefer nice, comfortable temperatures if given the choice. That's why I like the Pacific Northwest; generally the weather is excruciatingly mild. It never gets terribly cold, and it only rarely gets anywhere near 90 degrees. It snows maybe once or twice a year, and it melts away within a week. I like that.
I don't like being so hot that I can't comfortably wear clothes.
Our apartment gets full throttle southern exposure. Not half throttle or anything. The throttle is pushes so far it can't be pushed anymore. So all day we get blasted by Mr. Sun. Neighbor Gary's apartment, being on the other side of the building, never sees the sun except early in the morning and late in the evening for rise/set. So it is several magnitudes cooler than our apartment. After Carrie and Natalie got back I put on pants and a shirt and we went over there for a dinner of leftovers. Most of the PSBF vendors would eat out for dinner, and most of them, since they were staying in hotels, didn't have anywhere to keep leftovers. Gary lives in the area and had a fridge, so he ended up with a whole heck of a lot. So we made it our mission to eat as much as possible and also watch Waiting for Guffman.
I don't like hot weather. I do so much better in the cold, although I prefer nice, comfortable temperatures if given the choice. That's why I like the Pacific Northwest; generally the weather is excruciatingly mild. It never gets terribly cold, and it only rarely gets anywhere near 90 degrees. It snows maybe once or twice a year, and it melts away within a week. I like that.
I don't like being so hot that I can't comfortably wear clothes.
Our apartment gets full throttle southern exposure. Not half throttle or anything. The throttle is pushes so far it can't be pushed anymore. So all day we get blasted by Mr. Sun. Neighbor Gary's apartment, being on the other side of the building, never sees the sun except early in the morning and late in the evening for rise/set. So it is several magnitudes cooler than our apartment. After Carrie and Natalie got back I put on pants and a shirt and we went over there for a dinner of leftovers. Most of the PSBF vendors would eat out for dinner, and most of them, since they were staying in hotels, didn't have anywhere to keep leftovers. Gary lives in the area and had a fridge, so he ended up with a whole heck of a lot. So we made it our mission to eat as much as possible and also watch Waiting for Guffman.
posted by Christopher at 8:29 AM
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Monday, July 21, 2003
Google Toolbar
Hey, I just got this really cool Google Toolbar. Google just bought Blogger, which is where I do my blogging. I know, this has nothing to do with the PSBF. Sue me. But the Google Toolbar has some nice popup blocking. I've blocked 41 popups since I got it. Plus it has a button I can just click and update my website. Guess how this post got made? That's right! This is just a functionality test. I may even delete it later. At mine own whim.
posted by Christopher at 3:54 PM
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Tell me a joke.
Hello! Well, the PSBF is over now, so I can somewhat relax. Basically over the course of this week I'll just be writing about random stories from the long weekend as I think of them.
On Friday I was stationed at the front door with Brandy. At one point during the long, hot day, she turned to me and said, "Chris, tell me a joke." Now here's the thing. I don't like jokes. I don't really like that style of humor. Setups and punchlines and clever little things. Not my cup o' tea. The only "jokes" that I really like are parodies of traditional jokes. So I told her "jokes" instead of jokes. Both of them got her to laugh, but she was still upset because they were "jokes" and not jokes.
Here's how the first one goes (it really doesn't read well on paper. It's much better experienced live):
See? That's not a joke. The "joke" is that the guy is so into his own joke that he can't even tell it. It got a laugh. Here's the second one:
See? What the hell is funny about that? Nothing. That's why I like it. You should hear some of our knock-knock jokes. Here's one of my faves:
On Friday I was stationed at the front door with Brandy. At one point during the long, hot day, she turned to me and said, "Chris, tell me a joke." Now here's the thing. I don't like jokes. I don't really like that style of humor. Setups and punchlines and clever little things. Not my cup o' tea. The only "jokes" that I really like are parodies of traditional jokes. So I told her "jokes" instead of jokes. Both of them got her to laugh, but she was still upset because they were "jokes" and not jokes.
Here's how the first one goes (it really doesn't read well on paper. It's much better experienced live):
(overly, insanely enthusiastic)
"A guy walks into a bar..."
(breakdown into hysterical laughter)
See? That's not a joke. The "joke" is that the guy is so into his own joke that he can't even tell it. It got a laugh. Here's the second one:
A guy walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this!" (wiggle elbow)
The doctor says, "I'm gonna cut you with a pair of scissors!"
See? What the hell is funny about that? Nothing. That's why I like it. You should hear some of our knock-knock jokes. Here's one of my faves:
A: Knock-knock
B: Who's there?
A: I'm about to have a baby!
B: I'm about to have a baby who?
A: John if it's a boy; Jessica if it's a girl. (Pause) It's Jessica.
posted by Christopher at 3:13 PM
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Friday, July 18, 2003
I am/have a lazy ass
Today was the first official day of The Puget Sound Bead Festival, although all that happened today was classes, so I wasn't directly involved. I really felt like procrastinating, though, so I stopped by the convention center to "scope out" the lay of the land. It's a pretty ugly building when it's empty, but Carrie assures me that it looks good when it's filled with vendors.
Classes were actually happening inside the Sheraton itself, so I stopped by there and hung out with Carrie, who was manning the check-in desk. Devon showed up with a couple of Carrie's out-of-town bead friends, and we all four went to the Thursday Tacoma Farmer's Market. I got a huge bouquet of flowers for only $5 (becasue the irises that Carrie had gotten just like two days ago were already dead!). I think I might have actually gotten a slight bit of a (beautiful, golden) tan from walking around outside in the warm sun.
Afterwards I came home and procrastinated some more (I streamlined the javascript program that randomly rotates the banner ads at angrybeef.com) and listened to some TMBG Radio before finally settling down and doing some work. Carrie technically got off work around 6:00, so around 6:30 I called and asked when she was coming home, 'cause I was hungry and wanted to know if I should wait for her before I made dinner. She said to go ahead and eat and that she's be home "soon." So I hung out with Lisa for a while, which was cool. I like her; she's fun. She really likes Fantastico a lot, which is, you know, fine by me.
Well, finally around 10:00 or so she came home, and then we crossed the hall to Neighbor Gary's for some vegetarian soft tacos (complete with fake meat!).
I have a funny story about Carrie's engagement ring. Remind me to tell it.
I have to get up at like 6:00 so I can get to the PSBF early. I probably won't post anythign until after it's all said and done, but I've the feeling that I might have some good stories to tell.
Classes were actually happening inside the Sheraton itself, so I stopped by there and hung out with Carrie, who was manning the check-in desk. Devon showed up with a couple of Carrie's out-of-town bead friends, and we all four went to the Thursday Tacoma Farmer's Market. I got a huge bouquet of flowers for only $5 (becasue the irises that Carrie had gotten just like two days ago were already dead!). I think I might have actually gotten a slight bit of a (beautiful, golden) tan from walking around outside in the warm sun.
Afterwards I came home and procrastinated some more (I streamlined the javascript program that randomly rotates the banner ads at angrybeef.com) and listened to some TMBG Radio before finally settling down and doing some work. Carrie technically got off work around 6:00, so around 6:30 I called and asked when she was coming home, 'cause I was hungry and wanted to know if I should wait for her before I made dinner. She said to go ahead and eat and that she's be home "soon." So I hung out with Lisa for a while, which was cool. I like her; she's fun. She really likes Fantastico a lot, which is, you know, fine by me.
Well, finally around 10:00 or so she came home, and then we crossed the hall to Neighbor Gary's for some vegetarian soft tacos (complete with fake meat!).
I have a funny story about Carrie's engagement ring. Remind me to tell it.
I have to get up at like 6:00 so I can get to the PSBF early. I probably won't post anythign until after it's all said and done, but I've the feeling that I might have some good stories to tell.
posted by Christopher at 12:00 AM
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Wednesday, July 16, 2003
A Whole New World...
Hello! Well, I've decided finally to stop trying to remember what happend to me over the past couple of month and just actually make a darned 'blog. So I went to the lovely blogger.com and now I's gots me a darned weblog of my very own. This way I can actually update it easily whenever something actually happens to me, instead of trying to remember what happened and forgetting one or two important things.
Anyway. So today Brandy stopped by for a half hour or so while I was cleaning the apartment. Later on I went to Mr. Tom Torp because a while ago I got a fascinating letter from the IRS and so I needed him to make it go away. Altogether it took less than 20 minutes. Very relieving. I think I have to write a check for like $45 or something.
Also today we received a houseguest for the weekend. A certain Lisa Claxton from California. She's up for The Puget Sound Bead Festival. So what did we do? We went to a bar, of course! Well, the Parkway. Christine and Melissa met us there. I like the Parkway. There's no smoking.
Hey, this blogging thing is pretty fun and easy. Let me know if you like it this way or not. If not, I can go back to trying to remember two weeks at a time.
Anyway. So today Brandy stopped by for a half hour or so while I was cleaning the apartment. Later on I went to Mr. Tom Torp because a while ago I got a fascinating letter from the IRS and so I needed him to make it go away. Altogether it took less than 20 minutes. Very relieving. I think I have to write a check for like $45 or something.
Also today we received a houseguest for the weekend. A certain Lisa Claxton from California. She's up for The Puget Sound Bead Festival. So what did we do? We went to a bar, of course! Well, the Parkway. Christine and Melissa met us there. I like the Parkway. There's no smoking.
Hey, this blogging thing is pretty fun and easy. Let me know if you like it this way or not. If not, I can go back to trying to remember two weeks at a time.
posted by Christopher at 10:56 PM
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[top]
SURPRISE!
Let's see if I can remember what the freak happened to me so far in July. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna forget some major stuff, because basically everything that happened was pretty major.
Let's see. On Wednesday the 2nd my family had a farewell dinner for my sister. Why Farewell, you say? Well, because she left for Australia for six months on the morning of the 5th. We had dinner at Anthony's, and as always there were some doses of fun/crazy like whenever my family gets together. I made Susan promise to get me Kangaroo Jack's autograph (or phone number!).
On the evening (dinnertime) of the 3rd I made a very special trip to the airport. See, it's Carrie's dad's birthday on July 7th (I'm pretty sure), and I went to the airport to pick up Carrie's Ohio-living brother and brought him over to Carrie's folks' house. Oh, who knew he was coming? Why, just me and Carrie!
SURPRISE!
Happy birthday, here's your son who lives thousands of miles away! So that was kind of neat. Then we all, the whole family, spontaneously went out and saw Ang Lee's Hulk, which I will Review here soon, I promise.
On the 4th Melissa had her annual 4th of July party. This is always a good time. There weren't really any surprise guests this time, although Josh Sanders showed up, which was cool. Damn he's lost a lot of weight! At any rate there was a lot of drinking but very little debauchery (although Geoff was doing martial arts without his shirt on at one point, must to the delight of some lovely ladies).
On the 5th we had the actual birthday celebration for Carrie's dad (kind of). We went to Emerald Downs and bet on the horsies. Unlike last time I'm actually kind of proud of myself, because I went there with a 20-dollar bill. I came back with $20.05, but I had also bought a hamburger and an ice cream cone. So basically I won enough on the horsies to get a free lunch and a nickel. Oh, and also enough to play a whole bunch of Moon Patrol (I got past the entire first world). I like Moon Patrol.
Let's see now. The first half of the next week is kind of hazy. On Monday the 7th I made a secret trip up to Tukwila for a secret reason...
On Tuesday the 8th I made a secret trip to Carrie's folks' house for a secret reason...
On Wednesday the 9th I made a secret trip to a small restaurant in the Proctor district of Tacoma for a secret reason… you want to know more? Read on...
On Thursday the 11th I made another secret trip to that restaurant in Tacoma...
On Thursday the 10th we also had another family get-together thing to celebrate my brother's birthday, which is really on the 12th. We went to Appleby's. I had a steak salad and amused myself (and others) by making a joke involving that metal basket thing that holds the salt and pepper shakers and the dessert menus and things. It involved a Creed song. This year Carrie got Mike the Punch-Drunk Love DVD. I got him a couple of tapes of Saturday morning cartoons from 1980 (six hours total), which I borrowed from Neighbor Gary.
Friday the 11th I made another secret trip to Tukwila...
The 11th was also the 6th anniversary of the first time Carrie and I kissed. How did we celebrate such a momentous occasion? Why, by going to a taping of Northwest Afternoon, of course! I've been a couple of times before. Basically here's the deal: Every year The Bead Factory goes on Northwest Afternoon so they can make an announcement to the entire state of Washington that the Puget Sound Bead Festival is happening soon and everyone should go. But in order to be able to make such an announcement, you have to bring 15 people to be in their live studio audience. Otherwise nobody would ever show up to that show. So I sometimes get recruited to go along, as was the case on the 11th. Unfortunately it wasn't an enjoyable topic, but Brandy and Nicole rode with Carrie and me, so it was a pretty fun time.
That evening Carrie and I went out to dinner at a certain small restaurant in the Proctor district of Tacoma...
And we got freakin' engaged.
SURPRISE!
That's right, I'm finally making an honest woman out of her. Here's what happened:
And it worked. Duh! Carrie ain't stupid. What was she gonna say? No? Don't be ridiculous.
Here's the really freaky thing, though. The next day we were driving around looking for garage sales and also checking on house prices (which we're always interested in). We drove by our friend Cat's house and she just happened to be standing outside in her driveway. So Carrie honked and pulled over, and stuck her ring hand out the window.
"Oh, my god," said Cat. "You're never gonna believe this, but I got engaged last night too."
Cat's fiancé's name? Why it's Chris of course. Cat and Carrie are always saying how similar their lives are...
Here's a funny thing about the ring. I had no idea what size ring she wore, so I just kind of made a stab in the dark. It was a size to small, but Carrie jammed it on there anyway. Well, on Monday the 14th it started hurting so she had to use dishwashing liquid to get it off. We'll have to go up to The Shane Company after The Puget Sound Bead Festival to get it resized. The other funny thing? Cat's ring didn't fit either... but it was a size too big...
Anyway (no, I'm not done yet), on Saturday the 12th, my brother's actual birthday, Fools Play did a "Surprise" Birthday Party for him (which he helped plan). It was a really cool show, and the audience brought presents for him, which he opened on stage during the show and everything. Quite the hoot.
Oh! And on Monday the 14th Brandy started her new job as Mark and Viki's nanny. That's pretty crazy. She's also working at The Puget Sound Bead Festival with us. One of us... one of us...
Okay, I think that's about it. So as you can see I've been much too busy to actually work on this website. I'm pretty sure I've missed something major, and if it involves you who is reading this, then I apologize. Things should start to calm down after The Puget Sound Bead Festival is over. But I ain't counting my chickens before they hatch. Plus I still can't get my scanner to work. I kinda need that. Maybe I'll just buy one of those all-in-one dealy jobs.
Let's see. On Wednesday the 2nd my family had a farewell dinner for my sister. Why Farewell, you say? Well, because she left for Australia for six months on the morning of the 5th. We had dinner at Anthony's, and as always there were some doses of fun/crazy like whenever my family gets together. I made Susan promise to get me Kangaroo Jack's autograph (or phone number!).
On the evening (dinnertime) of the 3rd I made a very special trip to the airport. See, it's Carrie's dad's birthday on July 7th (I'm pretty sure), and I went to the airport to pick up Carrie's Ohio-living brother and brought him over to Carrie's folks' house. Oh, who knew he was coming? Why, just me and Carrie!
SURPRISE!
Happy birthday, here's your son who lives thousands of miles away! So that was kind of neat. Then we all, the whole family, spontaneously went out and saw Ang Lee's Hulk, which I will Review here soon, I promise.
On the 4th Melissa had her annual 4th of July party. This is always a good time. There weren't really any surprise guests this time, although Josh Sanders showed up, which was cool. Damn he's lost a lot of weight! At any rate there was a lot of drinking but very little debauchery (although Geoff was doing martial arts without his shirt on at one point, must to the delight of some lovely ladies).
On the 5th we had the actual birthday celebration for Carrie's dad (kind of). We went to Emerald Downs and bet on the horsies. Unlike last time I'm actually kind of proud of myself, because I went there with a 20-dollar bill. I came back with $20.05, but I had also bought a hamburger and an ice cream cone. So basically I won enough on the horsies to get a free lunch and a nickel. Oh, and also enough to play a whole bunch of Moon Patrol (I got past the entire first world). I like Moon Patrol.
Let's see now. The first half of the next week is kind of hazy. On Monday the 7th I made a secret trip up to Tukwila for a secret reason...
On Tuesday the 8th I made a secret trip to Carrie's folks' house for a secret reason...
On Wednesday the 9th I made a secret trip to a small restaurant in the Proctor district of Tacoma for a secret reason… you want to know more? Read on...
On Thursday the 11th I made another secret trip to that restaurant in Tacoma...
On Thursday the 10th we also had another family get-together thing to celebrate my brother's birthday, which is really on the 12th. We went to Appleby's. I had a steak salad and amused myself (and others) by making a joke involving that metal basket thing that holds the salt and pepper shakers and the dessert menus and things. It involved a Creed song. This year Carrie got Mike the Punch-Drunk Love DVD. I got him a couple of tapes of Saturday morning cartoons from 1980 (six hours total), which I borrowed from Neighbor Gary.
Friday the 11th I made another secret trip to Tukwila...
The 11th was also the 6th anniversary of the first time Carrie and I kissed. How did we celebrate such a momentous occasion? Why, by going to a taping of Northwest Afternoon, of course! I've been a couple of times before. Basically here's the deal: Every year The Bead Factory goes on Northwest Afternoon so they can make an announcement to the entire state of Washington that the Puget Sound Bead Festival is happening soon and everyone should go. But in order to be able to make such an announcement, you have to bring 15 people to be in their live studio audience. Otherwise nobody would ever show up to that show. So I sometimes get recruited to go along, as was the case on the 11th. Unfortunately it wasn't an enjoyable topic, but Brandy and Nicole rode with Carrie and me, so it was a pretty fun time.
That evening Carrie and I went out to dinner at a certain small restaurant in the Proctor district of Tacoma...
And we got freakin' engaged.
SURPRISE!
That's right, I'm finally making an honest woman out of her. Here's what happened:
- Those secret trips to Tukwila were to go to The Shane Company in order to finalize and then pick up an engagement ring.
- The secret trip to Carrie's folks' house was to ask her dad's permission (I'm kinda old fashioned sometimes).
- The secret trips to the restaurant in Tacoma were to conspire with the owners and workers there to setup a nice, romantic environment and finalize my plan…
And it worked. Duh! Carrie ain't stupid. What was she gonna say? No? Don't be ridiculous.
Here's the really freaky thing, though. The next day we were driving around looking for garage sales and also checking on house prices (which we're always interested in). We drove by our friend Cat's house and she just happened to be standing outside in her driveway. So Carrie honked and pulled over, and stuck her ring hand out the window.
"Oh, my god," said Cat. "You're never gonna believe this, but I got engaged last night too."
Cat's fiancé's name? Why it's Chris of course. Cat and Carrie are always saying how similar their lives are...
Here's a funny thing about the ring. I had no idea what size ring she wore, so I just kind of made a stab in the dark. It was a size to small, but Carrie jammed it on there anyway. Well, on Monday the 14th it started hurting so she had to use dishwashing liquid to get it off. We'll have to go up to The Shane Company after The Puget Sound Bead Festival to get it resized. The other funny thing? Cat's ring didn't fit either... but it was a size too big...
Anyway (no, I'm not done yet), on Saturday the 12th, my brother's actual birthday, Fools Play did a "Surprise" Birthday Party for him (which he helped plan). It was a really cool show, and the audience brought presents for him, which he opened on stage during the show and everything. Quite the hoot.
Oh! And on Monday the 14th Brandy started her new job as Mark and Viki's nanny. That's pretty crazy. She's also working at The Puget Sound Bead Festival with us. One of us... one of us...
Okay, I think that's about it. So as you can see I've been much too busy to actually work on this website. I'm pretty sure I've missed something major, and if it involves you who is reading this, then I apologize. Things should start to calm down after The Puget Sound Bead Festival is over. But I ain't counting my chickens before they hatch. Plus I still can't get my scanner to work. I kinda need that. Maybe I'll just buy one of those all-in-one dealy jobs.
posted by Christopher at 10:50 PM
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Tuesday, July 01, 2003
Some pretty crazy things happened these last couple weeks. Let's see.
I was outside putting my ANGRY BEEF license plate frame when a police officer comes strolling down the sidewalk and asks me if I know whose car (points to car) that is? It belonged to one of my downstairs neighbors, so I told the officer that. He nodded, thanked me, and wandered off... through the yard and around to the back of the house.
Well, pretty soon after that another cop showed up and asked me, "Excuse me, do you know who lives in (points) that apartment?"
He was pointing to the same apartment of the guy whose car the first cop pointed at, so I said so. The cop nodded and began mumbling into his collar radio thingy.
Uh-oh. Well, as I finished making my car ANGRY BEEF ghetto fabulous, the first cop came back from the back of the house and the two met outside the front door of the house. They conversed in those low tones that cops do so well, then one turned and shouted down to the street, "Excuse me, can you open this door for us?
"Sure," I say, "Hold on just a second."
So I finish packing up my tools in my extra-manly tool case (the type that's molded plastic and every tool fits snugly into its little indentation) and walked up the front walkway to where they were still low-talking at each other. "Is there anything I should know about?" I asked suspiciously.
"He's wanted for burglary," the second cop simply told me.
Lovely. Anyway, a short while later I'm upstairs looking out the window, watching the two cops escorting one of my downstairs neighbors away in handcuffs, while three police cruisers have suddenly appeared on my block. All I can say is this:
It's about damned time.
That guy was a complete asshat. It surprises me not at all that he would get taken away in handcuffs. It didn't make me feel exactly safe to know he was living in my building with us for the last two-and-a-half years. We think he even stole our (outgoing) mail at least once.
Anyway...
There were a couple other funny things that happened. My brother and I ended up doing a two-man Fools Play show because the Gibbses were out of town and M. Tanner was up in Seattle. And you know what? It was one of the most fun shows I've ever done. The very next day was the 2nd Annual Northwest Improv Jam, where as many troupes from the Northwest as possible get together and each do a scene to showcase their abilities, then in the end they all kind of mix it up and do scenes with each other. The Fools Play show the next week wasn't quite so hot, mostly because the theater was—excruciatingly hot.
Brandy was working at a cute little gift shop up on 6th Ave that day as well, and I got a very funny phone call from her right as the store was supposed to open. I probably shouldn't talk about it here; it might be to embarrassing for her. Hey, she's working there again today—I should probably stop by.
And don't think I've slacked off this website because I didn't write any articles or movie reviews. I was gonna do both, but I didn't end up seeing any movies last week (even though I was planning on it), and I was gonna write a huge and hilarious article but for some reason now my computer refuses to recognize my scanner, so I've had to put that one on some serious hold until I find out what the freak is goin' on there.
Well, as crazy as these last two weeks have been, the next two are gonna be off the heezy-beezy. I'm going to have a LOT of very important and very exciting news. That's all I can say now.
I was outside putting my ANGRY BEEF license plate frame when a police officer comes strolling down the sidewalk and asks me if I know whose car (points to car) that is? It belonged to one of my downstairs neighbors, so I told the officer that. He nodded, thanked me, and wandered off... through the yard and around to the back of the house.
Well, pretty soon after that another cop showed up and asked me, "Excuse me, do you know who lives in (points) that apartment?"
He was pointing to the same apartment of the guy whose car the first cop pointed at, so I said so. The cop nodded and began mumbling into his collar radio thingy.
Uh-oh. Well, as I finished making my car ANGRY BEEF ghetto fabulous, the first cop came back from the back of the house and the two met outside the front door of the house. They conversed in those low tones that cops do so well, then one turned and shouted down to the street, "Excuse me, can you open this door for us?
"Sure," I say, "Hold on just a second."
So I finish packing up my tools in my extra-manly tool case (the type that's molded plastic and every tool fits snugly into its little indentation) and walked up the front walkway to where they were still low-talking at each other. "Is there anything I should know about?" I asked suspiciously.
"He's wanted for burglary," the second cop simply told me.
Lovely. Anyway, a short while later I'm upstairs looking out the window, watching the two cops escorting one of my downstairs neighbors away in handcuffs, while three police cruisers have suddenly appeared on my block. All I can say is this:
It's about damned time.
That guy was a complete asshat. It surprises me not at all that he would get taken away in handcuffs. It didn't make me feel exactly safe to know he was living in my building with us for the last two-and-a-half years. We think he even stole our (outgoing) mail at least once.
Anyway...
There were a couple other funny things that happened. My brother and I ended up doing a two-man Fools Play show because the Gibbses were out of town and M. Tanner was up in Seattle. And you know what? It was one of the most fun shows I've ever done. The very next day was the 2nd Annual Northwest Improv Jam, where as many troupes from the Northwest as possible get together and each do a scene to showcase their abilities, then in the end they all kind of mix it up and do scenes with each other. The Fools Play show the next week wasn't quite so hot, mostly because the theater was—excruciatingly hot.
Brandy was working at a cute little gift shop up on 6th Ave that day as well, and I got a very funny phone call from her right as the store was supposed to open. I probably shouldn't talk about it here; it might be to embarrassing for her. Hey, she's working there again today—I should probably stop by.
And don't think I've slacked off this website because I didn't write any articles or movie reviews. I was gonna do both, but I didn't end up seeing any movies last week (even though I was planning on it), and I was gonna write a huge and hilarious article but for some reason now my computer refuses to recognize my scanner, so I've had to put that one on some serious hold until I find out what the freak is goin' on there.
Well, as crazy as these last two weeks have been, the next two are gonna be off the heezy-beezy. I'm going to have a LOT of very important and very exciting news. That's all I can say now.
posted by Christopher at 9:46 AM
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