This is Chris dot com

There was this ENORMOUS boarding school that was supposed to be in Tacoma even though it was filmed somewhere else (yes, "filmed" was the term used in the dream). There was a large body of water to the south of it, either a lake or a part of puget sound. There were big, huge mountains to the south of the lake.

This school was seriously HUGE. It was all in one building, but it had its own heliport, its own docks, its own loading cranes, its own dorms, and so many secret passages as to be worthy of ridicule; ridiculous.

Anyway, the school was invaded by this paramilitary/terrorist organization led by Willem Dafoe. They came from the water and took over the school. But the school was so big that pockets of rebellion started popping up here and there. There were some wings that were off limits because there was so much warfare going on between the terrorists and the rebellion. Also all the Fools attended this school.

After quite a lot of hyjinx that I don't remember very well, I and a couple of other people escaped from the school and hid in an apartment across the street and to the southwest of the school.

Seriously, this school building was HUGE. At least ten stories, and probably several square miles. And it was in a pretty heavily populated area.

Anyway, eventually Willem Dafoe decides that he's not content with just taking over the school, so he launches a full-scale invasion of the mainland from his base (we assumed it was somewhere across the water, because his troops tended to come across it in boats). So they started going up and down the streets, getting people out of their apartments. For some reason we had been hiding in the apartment for the better part of a year by this time (instead of, you know, actually trying to escape). We were also all wondering why the government wasn't doing anything about this invasion of their homeland. It wasn't like Willem Dafoe's organization was covert or anything; they had tons of troops, boats, helicopters, and did everything in broad daylight in a heavily populated area.

Anyway, they got us out of the apartment after we failed to convince them that we should be left alone because we were just hippie stoners. They forced us to march to the west like that inserted scene in LOTR:ROTK where Frodo & Sam march with the Orcs. I eventually somehow escape and loose the troops by running around some brick buildings.

I find a way to sneak back into the school building to contact my friends there. They tell me that in the year that I've been gone the rebellion and the terrorists have dug in even deeper, and they seem to be at a stalemate. Then we notice that overnight the terrorists have built a gigantic fortress in/on the lake, with tons of giant cannons and cartoony rocket launchers all over it. It seems that Willem Dafoe had grown tired of the rebels in the school and was just going to blow the shit out of it to try to quell the rebellion.

I sneak back outside and come across some people with a plan to stop the destruction by destroying the fortress. A corporation (whose symbol was a big orb thingy a lot like that orb thingy at the end of the final parade in Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace) sponsored a contest using a television show that was a lot like Trading Spaces. Teams would compete to come up with plans for destroying the fortress and killing everyone inside. The show would be guest-hosted by Paris Hilton. The winners would not only get their plan implemented, but would also get a $5,000 gift certificate.

The plans included such ideas as replacing the underwater portholes of the fortress with smaller portholes, so that if the fortress were flooded the bad guys wouldn't be able to escape out the smaller portholes (to which I remember saying, "But how are you gonna install those smaller portholes without being noticed?" They didn't seem to be too concerned about that).